See Lour Panic.
See Lour Freak-Out.
Stop Lour, stop!
See Lour suck it up and get ready to go back to the STA.
Go Lour, go!
*chuckles* Whatever. The point is that Grey & I went up and re-took our Drug Screening and so we should (FINALLY) be ready to go back to the STA and get driving our Pumpkin. Woot.
Whatever happens from here on out, I'm just so ready for the whole thing to be over. Jeez, what a production. What a long month. What a *sigh* ... oy vey.
March 26, 2008
March 24, 2008
Still Debating
I am still debating pros & cons and my fear versus my enjoyment.
Although I did contact my family doctor and get a note to clear me to return to "work" (aka Training), I'm still not 100% sure that its right for me. And I think that's okay. The opportunity for Grey & I is still something we're excited about, but the reality of tight-spacing, city-driving, et cetera with that massive machine worries me.
Which is sad, because I loved driving on the highway and the rural roads. I can couple & uncouple a trailer, I can do my PTI, my FCOB check, my PoTI, and the instructors who all observed or drove with me said I was doing great. I don't think they'd lie about it.
One thing that sticks with me - and worries me - is something Jim said. He told me that "[we] can fix any bad habit or help you learn any skill, if you're willing. That's not a problem. What we can't fix is what's inside your head." He was referring to my tendancy to get flustered when I made a mistake (missed a gear, for instance). I don't know if that's something I can overcome.
You see, I notice that same tendancy in other areas of my life, so its not truck-specific. For instance, in a large group while playing a MMORPG - I am the only healer so it can get a little hairy trying to make sure each member stays alive. Normally, I am quite good at this, but sometimes I hit the wrong button or something and I get frusterated and flustered and then hit another wrong button. Obviously, this is trivial, but its a good example. The life or death in a video game isn't the same as the life-or-death-or-extreme-property-damage of driving a truck.
So yes, I am still considering it. I appreciate the vote of confidence. I feel as though driving is something I would be good at, none of the classroom work phased me, and I think I'd be just dandy with life in a truck... its just the city-driving that has me worried. Panicky. Frusterated.
Worried.
Bah. I'll let ya'll know what happens.
Although I did contact my family doctor and get a note to clear me to return to "work" (aka Training), I'm still not 100% sure that its right for me. And I think that's okay. The opportunity for Grey & I is still something we're excited about, but the reality of tight-spacing, city-driving, et cetera with that massive machine worries me.
Which is sad, because I loved driving on the highway and the rural roads. I can couple & uncouple a trailer, I can do my PTI, my FCOB check, my PoTI, and the instructors who all observed or drove with me said I was doing great. I don't think they'd lie about it.
One thing that sticks with me - and worries me - is something Jim said. He told me that "[we] can fix any bad habit or help you learn any skill, if you're willing. That's not a problem. What we can't fix is what's inside your head." He was referring to my tendancy to get flustered when I made a mistake (missed a gear, for instance). I don't know if that's something I can overcome.
You see, I notice that same tendancy in other areas of my life, so its not truck-specific. For instance, in a large group while playing a MMORPG - I am the only healer so it can get a little hairy trying to make sure each member stays alive. Normally, I am quite good at this, but sometimes I hit the wrong button or something and I get frusterated and flustered and then hit another wrong button. Obviously, this is trivial, but its a good example. The life or death in a video game isn't the same as the life-or-death-or-extreme-property-damage of driving a truck.
So yes, I am still considering it. I appreciate the vote of confidence. I feel as though driving is something I would be good at, none of the classroom work phased me, and I think I'd be just dandy with life in a truck... its just the city-driving that has me worried. Panicky. Frusterated.
Worried.
Bah. I'll let ya'll know what happens.
March 21, 2008
What Goes Up...
Must come down.
Grey is almost ready to head back to the STA. Probably next Friday, 3/29, if they can squeeze him in. Note that that reads Grey alone and not Grey & I. I've been having some second, third, fourth, fifth... *sigh* thoughts about my ability to deal with the stress of driving a huge semi in small, confined places (city streets).
So, he is headed back alone. I think. F**K! I don't know. I really loved driving that truck, and I really loved the opportunity it presented us, but at the same time... I think I just worry too much. Maybe I'll talk to Grey one more time before we make a final decision. BLEH!
Someone, anyone - help! (lol)
Grey is almost ready to head back to the STA. Probably next Friday, 3/29, if they can squeeze him in. Note that that reads Grey alone and not Grey & I. I've been having some second, third, fourth, fifth... *sigh* thoughts about my ability to deal with the stress of driving a huge semi in small, confined places (city streets).
So, he is headed back alone. I think. F**K! I don't know. I really loved driving that truck, and I really loved the opportunity it presented us, but at the same time... I think I just worry too much. Maybe I'll talk to Grey one more time before we make a final decision. BLEH!
Someone, anyone - help! (lol)
March 17, 2008
Preparations - Again
Oy vey.
Grey & I want to thank everyone for their support as we get ready to (re)embark on this adventure. Friends, family, strangers, fellow pumpkin-folk - THANK you!
Meanwhile, we are still waiting for a doctor's appointment and washing clothes and whatnot. Its less exciting this time, I have to admit, but I'm sure everything will go splendidly this time.
At the moment its 2 a.m. and we're watching (well, listening to mostly) Xena: Warrior Princess on Netflix "Watch Instantly" and playing LOTRO. Ugh, its gonna be difficult getting up at 4 a.m. again in just a few days. Better get started on it ASAP.
Anyway - thanks again everyone!
Grey & I want to thank everyone for their support as we get ready to (re)embark on this adventure. Friends, family, strangers, fellow pumpkin-folk - THANK you!
Meanwhile, we are still waiting for a doctor's appointment and washing clothes and whatnot. Its less exciting this time, I have to admit, but I'm sure everything will go splendidly this time.
At the moment its 2 a.m. and we're watching (well, listening to mostly) Xena: Warrior Princess on Netflix "Watch Instantly" and playing LOTRO. Ugh, its gonna be difficult getting up at 4 a.m. again in just a few days. Better get started on it ASAP.
Anyway - thanks again everyone!
March 10, 2008
And the hits just keep on comin' ...
Yeah.
So, Grey is still sick and I have to admit, I'm not yet 100% either. Maybe it wasn't the Chinese after all, but a bout with that flu-bug that was going around at my previous job. I'm not sure.
Anyway, we have been re-scheduled for 3/22 in Carlisle, but we have to start all over again, including the *gasp* PWS screening. So I shall be re-stressing out over that for the next 12 days. Not to mention that we must fax a doctor's clearance to "return to work" and our family doctor cannot see us until 3/19. Eek! We're praying for a cancellation before then. He is going on vacation in 2 weeks, so naturally everybody and his brother has an appointment between now and then.
Looks like we'll get to meet CityMouse & her hubby after all.
In the meanime, I'm watching bad movies on Netflix "Watch Instantly" and praying a lot. So, updates will continue, but we'll have to begin again at the STA.
So, Grey is still sick and I have to admit, I'm not yet 100% either. Maybe it wasn't the Chinese after all, but a bout with that flu-bug that was going around at my previous job. I'm not sure.
Anyway, we have been re-scheduled for 3/22 in Carlisle, but we have to start all over again, including the *gasp* PWS screening. So I shall be re-stressing out over that for the next 12 days. Not to mention that we must fax a doctor's clearance to "return to work" and our family doctor cannot see us until 3/19. Eek! We're praying for a cancellation before then. He is going on vacation in 2 weeks, so naturally everybody and his brother has an appointment between now and then.
Looks like we'll get to meet CityMouse & her hubby after all.
In the meanime, I'm watching bad movies on Netflix "Watch Instantly" and praying a lot. So, updates will continue, but we'll have to begin again at the STA.
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